Bottom of Form Healing after Betrayal – Is it Possible? Betrayal is a breaking of trust and goodwill in a relationship that can take a long time to heal from and can leave us changed forever.  It has broken marriages, ended long term friendships and created rifts in families that can span generations.  It can happen suddenly and leave us feeling shocked, as in the case of an exposed affair. Or it can happen over time, involving a series of lies or indiscretions that deteriorate trust and respect. Whether it’s our good friend, partner, work colleague, sibling or parent, many of us have experienced the specific wounding that is felt from betrayal.  How do we get betrayed?  Our betrayal could be caused through a broken promise, ...

I was lying in bed last nigh thinking about the words "hole" and "whole" and how interesting it is that they sound the same but are so different in meaning. Being "whole" represents a feeling or state of contentment and completeness...a perfection of sorts. It needs no thing. It lacks only craving. It is peace. However, feeling like there is a "hole" in our lives, suggests that something is missing, that we are incomplete or imperfect. It needs some thing. It is overrun with craving. It is unrest.    We vacillate between these two states in life. Feeling as though there is a "hole" in our lives or within our selves, we search for something to fill it up. We search for something to fill the "hole" to make us feel "whole." We find a t...

You know, it really is true that time seems to pass much more quickly as we age.  Perhaps the hours drag sometimes on individual days, but seasons have a way of slipping away at an amazing speed.   One of my life goals has been to stay in the present moment, but doing so is very hard and takes almost constant vigilance.  My tendency is to forget to be vigilant. It seems to me that it was only yesterday that spring came and, where I live in Illinois in the US, buds began appearing on trees and grass began to grow.  I had the whole summer to look forward to, and I was completely involved in the things that would go into my garden this year.  I suppose that I like spring and fall best of all the seasons.  However, in spring, I have summer...

September 23 Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him, speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you— who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12) How different would your life be if you were able to suspend judgments? If you find yourself anxious, angry, discontented, fearful, or upset, it’s usually because you’ve begun to think about and judge the experiences you’ve been having, which means you have stopped simply experiencing them. I tend to either like or dislike whatever is happening to me, and it’s those ju...

September 22 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. (2 Tim. 3:16) Sit quietly and allow your thoughts to grow quiet. As you breathe in, consider the fact that the word inspiration has several meanings, among them meaning to breathe in. In this time spent with God, keep an image of breathing in the out breath of our Creator. All of us have sources of inspiration—places or things or sounds or words that inspire us. It may well be that our greatest accomplishments come when we feel inspired. We need to make certain that we seek out those sources of inspiration on a regular basis. When we meditate with some regularity, we usu...

September 21 Even inanimate things—flutes or harps, for instance—when yielding a sound, if they make no distinction in the notes, how shall the tune which is played on the flute or the harp be known? (1 Cor. 14:7) Ask yourself as you reflect today if you feel you are in harmony with your fellow man. Are there tensions in any of your relationships? Are the notes you give off in tune with the notes of others in your life? We are all involved in making music every day. We do not have to be musicians in order to do this; we simply need to add our voices to those around us. Most of the time, we will blend in fairly well. From time to time, however, some discordance will occur. Some of us may like the dissonance we hear, but for...

On 9/11/01, I was working in a TV newsroom and, when the first plane hit, we all assumed that it was just a horrible plane wreck. But when we watched the second plane hit the other tower—on the network's raw news feed, as it was actually happening—I realized that this was deliberate. Some fresh hell was unfolding, and life would never be the same. I was afraid that day, afraid that "Oh no, it's really happening, the Doomsday that we've all been warned about that I didn't take very seriously, it's beginning." Fearful thoughts tumbled through my mind, like dominoes falling on a path lined up toward devastation and destruction. I wondered how long it would take to reach the Midwest, where I was, and when the food rationing would begin. I ...

It is truly a wonderful thing when you find a perfect pair of jeans. You know what I mean? The ones that fit you so perfectly, that hug your body in the right areas, but not too tightly. They feel like you are truly in your own element when you wear them. It is almost as if they are part of your body. With these jeans adorning your lower half, you look and feel great. Only such a wonderful experience can make us search so hard. Jeans such as these are not usually an easy find. Entering a dressing room with an armful of jeans, you spend the next half hour trying on pair after pair. These don't quite fit right. These are obviously not the right size. Yikes! These feel okay, but the color of them is somehow strange. You think this pair w...

Motivation Crisis; Can You Even Be Bothered to Solve It? It is often difficult to see a motivation crisis coming, as most people become experts at ignoring the symptoms. Suddenly, one day the alarm clock goes off, or you wake up naturally, feeling no desire to get out of bed. The thought of facing the day appears as appealing as jumping in a pool full of piranhas. How is it possible that you suddenly feel this way? There are many possible symptoms that can lead to this increasingly common phenomenon. Maybe your job or relationship have lost their passion, possibly you have compromised yourself, in the belief that you are keeping others happy, to a point of apathy or even given up on any hope or dreams that you had. All of these fac...

Last week I stood next to a very dear friend whose brother had died suddenly, and unexpectedly, at the young age of 64.  In a few weeks I'll be 64.  Really made me think about a lot of things.... First, how important it is to simply be there when our friends need us.  There is nothing for us to particularly do, just showing up is what really matters. Second, how important it is to keep living fully, here and now, and make sure that the people we care about know that we love them, and that they matter to us. She told me they had spent time with him in the hospital when they thought he was simply under observation and would be going home soon.  Their whole family had gathered and sat around his bed talking and laughing with him.  The...