Why do some believe that abstinence is a good or reasonable?

Now I am sure that some of you will disagree and I would like to hear why you think that is good for anyone by any of the definitions provided below. I added some other things that fall right in with abstinence and its mechanisms. If you like this or agree great let me know.  If you think that this is a crock of fertilizer then let me know that and why.  This is one of those things that we think of but seldom talk or discuss.

Wikipedia states that Abstinence “is a voluntary restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure” Ok right there...  Would a reasonable person be willing to give up or abstain from pleasure?   I thought myself reasonable an in right mind in my life but have done just that abstained from things that are pleasurable.  Many of those times it was under duress and not voluntary yet.  I think that we do this for many reasons (abstain) because we believe that it is the right thing or we are pleasing others.  For what benefit is not doing things that are pleasurable?  Many of the arguments are because it is the right or moral thing to do.  Sometimes it is as I have written below is a control of another or exercise of will and control.  Having tried both pleasure and abstinence in my life find no tangible benefit for (abstinence) for this mind/body or others when we love without conditions of ourselves and others.  There are those who will say “we must have order, rules, penance and martyrdom and control of our emotions.  Phooey I say! :)  

From my perspective Monogamy is being used to control another through religious or civil means.  I am guessing that Polygamy was used by males to mark their property and claim exclusive rights with the women they married.  Monogamy I see as two different sets in the traditional Christian or other religious beliefs that the man is the head of the house hold as in God is the father and therefore the man is subservient to God as is woman is to man.  In the other view of society women have used Monogamy to control men in order to raise families and keep them in check insuring the survival of their offspring and keeping it functioning and healthy.   In this sense men had switched roles and become property.

The very aware people and those who have money often have prenuptials or contracts that protect their assets and required division of duties and expectations in the marriage/contract.  It is a business partnership not a traditional marriage.  I did not include any religious definitions of marriage because this would then become a small paper with lots of references.

In the sixties much of the young had thrown off the “man or establishments and religious ideas and experimented with all sorts of things and people.  For many there was no moderation and no appreciation for marriage that was founded on a friendship and partnership based on consensus or agreed up on control and direction of the family.  We as a people live quite often in a fog that hides the day –to-day operation of things.  We believe often what we want to hear from someone we have just met or have known for years without looking for motives less than pure.  So often we do not even know who we are, even less who we choose to spend time with.

If we abstain from pleasure and ask others to do the same what can be said of that relationship?  What has happened in our spiritual journey that has spawned this practice of unbalance and abusing ourselves and others?  Ok some may see those as harsh or inaccurate words yet are they?  Pleasure is Joy and unconditional love where abstinence is love with conditions.  It seems in many societies that both are acceptable.  Really it is ok to withhold Joy and unconditional love from others?  It is ok to treat ourselves with disdain and treat others that way?  I am coming to an understanding that although it may be politically and religiously correct.   I am no longer willing to support this dysfunctional way of living. I realize that there are many who do not see it this way and see the way they practice life and living as very correct and functional.  I wish them well and as one woman used to tell me “Well good luck with that” It brings a smile to my face because she giving me a clue that from her experience it would not work but could see that I thought it would.  I am going further here because I care for people and as we are connected even when we mentally cut those connections.  These words that I write are in support of spiritual and people growth.  I appreciate those who have told me that “you don’t understand”, You don’t see the big picture” and “you just need to read the word more”  For the most part these wonderful people meant well and were sharing their beliefs and are sharing what they know and believe.  You and they may ask, what is the difference between what I am writing and what they have said.  The difference is constraint, rules regulations, political and religious institutions and format which generally includes being subservient.  That is the primary difference in that there is no need for that and never has been be free and love without conditions.

Dave

Wikipedia states that Abstinence “is a voluntary restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to abstention from sexual intercourse, alcohol or food. The practice can arise from religious prohibitions or practical considerations.”

See link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstinence

Wikipedia states that Monogamy is... “Monogamy usually refers to a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. However, monogamy may also refer to the more general state of having only one mate at any one time and as such may be applied to the social behavior of all animals.^[1] In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction”

see link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monogamy

Polygamy Wikipedia states is, “Polygamy (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "often married"^[1]) is a form of marriage in which a person has more than one spouse at the same time, as opposed to monogamy in which a person has only one spouse at a time.^[1] When a man has more than one wife, the relationship is called polygyny; and when a woman has more than one husband, it is called polyandry. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it can be called group marriage.^[1]”

See link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

Polyandry Wikipedia states is, “Polyandry (Greek: poly- many, andros- man) refers to a form of marriage in which a woman has two or more husbands at the same time. The form of polyandry in which a woman is married to two or more brothers is known as "fraternal polyandry", and it is believed by many anthropologists to be the most frequently encountered form.”

See link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry